Problems particular to the Highland cow…
Some thoughts to consider from the Ullapool News on the Scottish Independence question:
Better Together have warned that if Scotland were to vote Yes in the forthcoming Referendum there is no automatic guarantee that the newly formed state would be entitled to any future summer.
"Whilst the decision is in the hands of the Scots to determine their future, we feel they should make an informed decision based on a full set of facts laid out clearly before them." said a patriotic Better Together spokeman from his home in Kensington. "As everyone knows, summer is an English concept and asset, and an independent Scotland would have to negotiate for any future rays of sunshine. It’s all very well for the SNP to claim that North Sea Oil will be able to warm Scottish homes through an endless and eternal perma-winter faced by such a rebellious decision as the abandon the hand that feeds them, but as we all know in a recent study (by us) it was established that oil reserves will run out approximately 7 hours after a yes result in 2014, and whilst we wish to maintain an amicable relationship within the British Isles, it would unrealistic to expect English sunbathers to subsidise treacherous Scots with summer and sunshine as they have done for the last 300 years!"
The SNP have responded by stating they fully expect a future free Scotland to be able to maintain a joint Sun-zone and actually foresee a 137% increase in sunny weather and ‘nice days’ under their proposed new Caledonian meteorological system, as outlined in the “Everything’s All White” paper published this week.
However, the SNP have also warned that if an Independent Scotland were to be denied a share of summer they would review withholding future Hogmanays to those south of the new border. Without Hogmanay, England would be unable to process future New Years and be stuck in whatever year the Act of The Union were dissolved and therefore be unable to have any birthdays, anniversaries or amusing end of the year “Best Of…” compilation TV shows playing throughout late December.
Asked for a statement of the potential clash, Scottish Secretary Alistair Carmichael whimpered and asked Rona to intervene.
Irn-Bru - If…….
If you can bounce in six inch heels all night and still walk home in your bare feet.
If you can keep two passions burning bright and see if there’s still some romance and defeat,
If you can hit a foreign beach without a tan or brave the hurling sleet with just a shirt,
If you know you’re easily the better man when side by side with suits and just a skirt,
When you can party in the summer rain with kama kaze midges in the mud,
or grit your teeth and put up with the pain of seeing in the New Year in the Scud,
If you can wait and wait for 1P change then proudly give the lot to charity,
and know for certain it’s not strange to call your lunch dinner and dinner tea,
If you can handle folk who call you Jock
You’ll have really earned your IRN BRU.
You’ll thank your mum for keeping you in stock.
And what is more, you’ll feel phenomenal too!
Don’t know what Rudyard Kipling would have made of this (inspired by “If”), but if it makes you smile for the stereotype it plays with, you’ll feel phenomenal too!
The tea song.
There’s nothing a cuppa can’t solve.
That’s what I’ve been saying all along…
What dwells under the stairs…
© S. Marian. Taken in the haven of eccentricity, Salmagundi, number four in a series of six, click here for more.
There’s a story to this skip diver, a beggar of some wit and ingenuity. He spent quite some time poking around that skip, looking for I don’t know what. We thought no more of it and went to have something to eat. When we came out, there he was on the street, drawing a good sized crowd. He’d taken his box and made a kind of ship fortress, with him sitting on the ground in the middle. When I say ship, I mean as in the sailing kind and he’d fashioned his box, cut it, into the shape of a sea going vessel with him as the scruffy captain. He got hold of a longish stick, with string dangling from it, and at the end of the string was a Starbucks cup…. Out of the ship he cast his line, dangling the empty cup and with humour, inviting passing people to drop some monetary fish into the cup. I had to admire his inventiveness.
© S. Marian. Number two of a series of six, click here for more.
Two beautiful Scottish girls. I love the steely look of determination of the one on the left, laughter in her eyes and barely suppressed mirth, the one on the right looks cheerfully resigned to such silliness.
From a site representing a unique part of Scottish country life, that of the teuchter.
Teuchter (/ˈtjuːxtər/ or /ˈtʃuːxtər/) is a Lowland Scots word originally used to describe a Scottish Highlander, (in particular a Gaelic speaking Highlander.), although in modern parlance it is used by urban Scots to describe any rural dweller. Like most such cultural epithets, it can be seen as offensive, but is often seen as amusing by the speaker. The term is contemptuous, essentially describing someone seen to be uncouth and rural.[
Teu·chter Wag·on [tuch-ter wag-en] Noun 1. A vehicle used for transporting sheep, shite or Teuchters around the Highlands and Islands.